42.

I step upstairs with great direction. Meditated steps, a pace of renewed purpose. I'm going to celebrate. I'm gonna get fucked up tonight.

I shove the basement door, it swings open like those little half doors you see in western saloons. The things that look like shutters. I brush the dirt off my shoulders and give a little thanks to the great Jay-Z in the sky when I look up and see that girl again. I forgot about her. She's sitting at the kitchen table reading a magazine while water boils in a pot on the stove. She looks up at me and tilts her head to left, like she's inspecting me. What was her name? Linda? Kali? I can't remember. Our eyes meet and I start to leave but her words cut me off. "I heard shouting from downstairs. And maybe animal noises."

Oh yeah. My sweat burns and my left knee starts to itch intensely. Something that resembles a sock scampers across the kitchen floor. My eyes follow it as it darts into the living room, when he exits I come back to her face. Eyes wide and looking up, waiting for an answer. I shut my eyes and push the hallucinations out. "I have one of those tapes of animal noises, you know what I'm talking about. Sounds of nature. I like that kind of stuff. I find it sooooooothing." My answer seems to satisfy and I see 10,000 lady bugs appear and disappear and then appear again. They scuttle and shift silently, covering everything. Enveloping the kitchen. I slam my eyes shut again and open them gratefully returning to normalcy. She stares blankly at me. Her hair turns to snakes and I turn to stone. She opens her mouth and her words shatter me. "Cool. I'm a vegan so I'm kinda into nature too." The lady bugs come back.

"What's a vegan?", I question. The lady bugs morph into crickets.