2.

I understand that when you see a dirty, poorly dressed individual with a large garbage bag full of clothes on the bus its cause for some concern. I get the apprehension, but I just want to make her understand. I just want a chance to explain, "Hey I'm not crazy, I'm not gonna shit my pants and start screaming and mumbling nonsense about raisins or spacemen! You just got to believe me. So please stop staring at me like I live under a bridge and I'm gonna eat and/or rape you, because I don't and I'm not". And while I'm thinking all this I realize I've been mouthing and mumbling it all along and I only look crazier. I was just trying to justify myself, rationalize how I got here, how I got like this. I don't even know why I'm worrying about what some stranger thinks, but I can't help feeling like things are just getting worse. At first I was merely filthy and odd, now I'm mouthing nonsense. I'm clearly failing at any attempt to not look insane.