26.

I wake up at dawn and hear the humming of the radiator and the massive clamoring of Jason snoring. It sounds sort of like a sperm whale's death throes. I'm impressed I was even able to sleep through that fucking cataclysmal noise. I pick the crusty sand out of my eyes and flick it down at the lumbering sack of shit. What a terrible way to start your day. I jump down from the top bunk hoping the bang will wake the fat bastard up and ruin whatever horrible dreams he's having. The plan wholly backfires, however. Not only does the son of a bitch sleep through the entire loud thud, but he also appears to be fully naked. I contemplate smothering him with a pillow, but decide against it because I'd rather not have to touch him. I foresee much more heavy drinking in my future. I dare not approach the bunk bed to reach my gear for fear of being too close to his horrid naked self. His tremendous fat heaves in and out with every terrible breath like the tide rolling in and out. Poseidon cringes. I'm trying hard not to gaze up at his horrific physique, but his mass alone is taking up 30% of this tiny room. I close my eyes and hurl myself towards the top bunk quickly snatching my stuff as fast as possible. As I'm throwing my bags over my shoulders I hear a yawn bellow out, signifying the beast has awoken. I head towards the door to put this travesty behind me, but my eyes meet his and I'm frozen by his naked smugness. I mutter out "Bastard" and stomp off like one does the next morning after a one night stand. Damn you Jason, you make me feel like a cheap whore. I hope this Y burns down around you, you decrepit mound of hyena shit.