37.

I bolt up the stairs and burst through the door. The pale yellow walls of the kitchen sting my pupils and I lash out in pain. I pounce and land upon the kitchen floor. The sticky linoleum clings to my wet flesh. I growl and hiss while my eyeballs comb the room. Broom! Broom, broom, broom! What I need is a broom! I need to sweep my cavernous lair before I can start to set things up. I strut about wildly pouring through every nook. Thank God no one is around to witness this, at least I think no one is around. I think I hear carnival music off in the distance. I've found no broom. There lies a door between the refrigerator and the entryway from the living room that warrants exploration, however. I paw at the Doorknob and it shifts away from me. It stretches back twelve feet and dodges my every grasp. The closer I get, the farther it pulls back. Tricky thing. Fine, I don't need you silly Doorknob, I have better things to do. I'll act uninterested and lure the Doorknob in by creating a clever ruse to fool it. I limbo back and forth under the kitchen table. Due to my prowess as a limbo-er, I'm quickly hailed as the limbo champ. I rise to take my trophy. The crowd cheers and I bow to let my fans know I'm grateful for their praise. The Doorknob is reeled in by all the excitement, and just as I'm about my grab my golden chalice.... I spring forward! My legs push out like fierce great amalgamations of muscle and steel. After all, I wasn't limbo champ for nothin'. The Doorknob's too slow, and I've got my prey inside my clutches. My palms are geysers of sweat, and we struggle and fumble about. I focus my animal adrenaline and deliver the killing blow. The Doorknob falls limp and I feel pride like never before. I go to take my war spoils, but the Doorknob remains stuck. I twist and shake and wiggle it about, but nothing seems to work. Awwwwww, you clever Doorknob you. A fail safe for even if you lost. A worthy adversary indeed, dear Doorknob thee.